I am crazy
I am depressed
I am Miserable


Happy times are not happy
Joy is absent in my life
I am absent from my life
Life is escaping me
And all I want to do
Is escape life
Fulfillment is lost
As I am empty
Nothing is everything for me
And everything is nothing
Pinch me I am numb
Outside I feel pain not
Inside I feel pain alot

For a lady that was true to herself and whose love will endure forever:

Tears fall down like rain today as it is a day of joy and of sadness. Our beloved Grandmother, Mother and Friend, Virgina Sweigart has reached her final resting place. Tears of joy fall from Grandma’s cheeks as her final wish on this earth has finally been granted. Our family is together again. Tears fall down our cheeks in sadness and in loss. I had always asked Grandma, “What would I ever do without you?” And she never really answered my question all she would say in her sweet tone is “well,” and that was all. And now that it has come to pass I have to figure the answer to that question alone. It seems like just yesterday I was sitting on the couch next to Grandma holding her hand rooting on our favorite team the Phoenix Suns. It seems like just yesterday that I was sitting in the pew with Grandma at church. It seems like just yesterday that she asked me when the last time I had eaten and told me it looked as if I was withering away. It seems like just yesterday that Grandma was walking around the corner. It seems like just yesterday I gave Grandma a big hug and told her how much I love her. It seems like just yesterday she hugged me back. Sometimes I still look for Grandma to come around the corner until I realize once again that Grandma has gone through the gates of eternity.
Through this experience I have realized that Grandma was and is the heart and the nucleus of this family but the amazing thing about Grandma is planted seeds in each of us. She planted seeds of love in each and every one of us. She planted seeds of memories. She planted seeds of compassion and empathy. She planted seeds of laughter and of joy. But most importantly God has planted Grandma in all of our lives and now she will rest in all of our hearts.
Grandma, no amount of words can ever give you justice, you are the sweetest most compassionate, loving lady I have ever encountered. Thank you, thank you for always being there for me and running to my defense when at times I did not deserve it. Thank you for being my Grandma and thank you for loving me for being me despite my imperfections. And thank you for being you. You have and always will have an incredibly special place located right in the center of my heart. Thank you for resting there. Welcome home. I will love and miss you for always. See you soon.




In love and in sadness,

Your Grandson
Matthew

A legacy is defined as money or property left to someone by a will or anything handed down by an ancestor. I don’t really agree with this definition but what can you say that is up to Webster’s. It is my belief that a legacy is something felt by the individuals left behind. A legacy should be something that is individualized and special to a specific person or to a centralized group of people. There are several separate legacies that I would like to leave behind.
To My Beloved Children:
I want to be remembered as a good father, a father who was there for them when ever they needed a helping hand or simply a shoulder to cry on. I want to be remembered as a father who always owned up to his responsibilities be it spiritual, physical, emotional or financial. I want to be remembered a God-rearing father that offered guidance where ever he possibly could. And last but certainly not least, I want to be remembered a father whose love never subsided, not even after his passing.
To my Beloved Wife:
I want to be remembered as a supportive husband, a husband who loved and cared for his wife and family unconditionally. I would like her to remember me as a fun, good-natured, positive, spiritual person who was a good father and loved his wife very much. I want her to remember me as a person who always reached for the stars. I would want her to remember that no matter what the circumstances were before my passing that my love would endure forever.
To My Beloved Family:
I want them to remember me as a person with the ambition to save the world and the ability to do anything he put his mind to. I want to be remembered as a good brother and son, an individual who would have gone to bat for any member of his family for any reason at any time. I want to be known as the big brother who was always there to defend my siblings regardless of the price. As a son, I want to be known as a “mamas-boy,” a boy turned man who loved his mother unconditionally despite any bumps that there might have been along the way.
To my Beloved Friends:
I would like to be known as an outgoing, confident and compassionate person that loved and cared about his friends very much. I want to be remembered as a friend who did not let juvenile tiffs stand in the way of true friendship. Most of all I would like each friend to remember that I held each and every one of them in the same regard as family and that I loved them all as if they were my brothers and sisters. Most of all I just want to be remembered.
Often times you turn on the television to see that a famous movie star, pop singer or any famous face has passed on and suddenly the people of the nation are in a state of shock and awe and have an overwhelming sense of loss. I am only left to wonder, when the Good Lord pulls my number and it is my turn to pass through the gates of eternity what will I have left behind? Will it be a void, just empty white space that I once used to occupy or will it be something that lingers, something that will impact people for the rest of their lives. I want to leave this earth with a certainty of knowledge that I left a solid impact that counts to peoples lives. I would love to have the ever-so famous slogan “Gone but not forgotten” ring true in my legacy.